Forgiveness

Reading from Monday February 6, 2012 yoga class

To preserve openness of heart and calmness of mind, nuture these attitudes:

Kindness to those who are happy
Compassion for those who are less fortunate
Honor for those who embody noble qualities

and today we will talk about the last one:

Equanimity to those whose actions oppose your values

There are people and situations that make our blood pressure spike by the mere mention of them.  Certainly when we are offended by cruel or brutal acts, we feel we have the right to judge and then seek retribution.

It would be a wonderful world if all people acted with honor and consciousness.  That, unfortunately, does not seem to be the way of life in this age.  We ourselves, at times, may have acted, spoken, or thought unkindly, or hurt another person.  Yet, we are eager to condemn, judge, and criticize others for doing so.

The Divine is present even in those who do unmentionable atrocities.  Granted, it is sometimes very hard to locate the Divine in such people.  Their minds and emotions are so disturbed and clouded, it is difficult to perceive the goodness that resides within them.  For retaining our openness of heart and calmness of mind, we must learn to forgive even the unforgivable.

          "The ultimate measure of a person is not where they stand in moments of comfort and
          convenience, but where they stand in times of challenge and controversy."
                                                                       Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The virtue of forgiveness is often misunderstood.  There is a reluctance to grant it, for fear that it will let the offender "off the hook."  But in truth, forgiveness is a natural stepping-stone to compassion.  It gives us the opportunity to free others and ourselves.  To hold hatred in our hearts is to clamp them tightly closed.  Though the wrongdoer may feel the effects of our hate, we often suffer the most if we encase it within our hearts for too long.  It erodes the very fiber of our love.  It also binds us to the person we are condemning.  By dwelling on the situation, we continually affirm that those who wronged us actually had the power to hurt us.  This allows them to continue to hurt us!  They become the object of our unkind focus.  It is for our benefit, more so than for theirs, to see them as Divine Beings.

Forgiveness is a soothing balm vital to our health and happiness.  If we grudgingly forgive, we still deem the other person responsible.  "They did this to me, but I (in my generosity) will forgive them."  As the heart softens through forgiveness, the understanding emerges that they are also hurt and unhappy, and then forgiveness melts into compassion. 

Through compassion the identification of someone else as the perpetrator of our hurt vanishes.  We understand that it is our perception that harms or heals.  The same benevolent light shines within that person's heart as shines within ours.

                                               From the book, "The Secret Power of Yoga"  by Nischala Joy Devi

If you have missed the blogs on the other three attitudes, go back and read them.  I have enjoyed sharing from this wonderful book.