More on advanced practice

Reading from Tuesday, December 9, 2014 yoga class

I have been having issues with sciatica in my right leg which has been driving me nuts.  I am not very patient with myself, at times...actually, I am pretty hard on myself.  I don't know where I would be at this point of my life without my yoga practice and my yoga teaching, which brings me to the subject of this reading.  I was taking a walk at the park this morning and the pain in my right calf was just driving me nuts, so I started chanting "RA MA DA SA SAH SAY SO HUNG" at the top of my voice while I was walking.  It is a healing mantra and I chanted this for about 30 minutes and as the pain in my calf eased up, I chanted louder and louder.  It was amazing.  Then, this email from my teacher that I have saved since it was written on January 21, 2005 flew into my head.  When I got home, I went to my folder of stashed "good stuff" and pulled out the email.  I quote parts of it here... my email to Laura and her reply back to me:

"Hi Laura..

I always look forward to your unmesha class each week and I am always disappointed when I cannot make it to class.

I have learned SO MUCH from coming to these classes...I have unfolded and evolved, using two of the definitions of the word unmesha...BUT coming to this class has also shown me how very much I have to learn.  There are some evenings when I leave class and think to myself...What in the world am I doing teaching yoga, when I have so much that I don't know!! BUT...then I think of all the people who come to my classes and tell me how much better they feel, how much it has helped them, etc., so that is what keeps me "teaching."

I feel inadequate when I can't "jump" into poses...when I can't do a pose and most everyone else is doing the pose...when I don't know the Sanskrit name for a pose...

I guess my reason in writing this email is to ask if maybe I should be taking a more basic class, either in place of this unmesha class or along with it?  I would appreciate any advice you could give me."


Her reply back to me:

"Dear Julie,

If you waited to teach until you felt like an expert, you'd wait forever.  All teachers feel the same way, believe it or not.  It doesn't matter how many years of experience you have, you are always aware of how much you don't know.  There's always going to be people who can do more asanas than you and do them better.  But that's not the point.  For a teacher, the important thing is not how much you know, but that you teach what you DO know, and you have patience and compassion with your students.  Recently we had a situation with a teacher who is very adept and who can do a lot of asanas.  Unfortunately, she lacked patience with the students and had an arrogant attitude about being able to do things better.  It wasn't long before students quit coming to her class.  She made them all feel bad.  People come to yoga to learn to feel better about themselves and not to have all their inadequacies pointed out.  Because you have also struggled with the poses you can really relate to your students, and they can really relate to you.  I'm sure your students love you so much.

You've not been coming to my classes for very long.  Just keep coming and it's great for you to be in class with more experienced students, so you can see where you're headed.  I really love having you in my class.  I wonder how many people would drive every week as far as you do to come to class.  You have what very few people have: dedication.  You have such a beautiful spirit and you are already a great yogi.  You're in the right class."

SO.... I can't tell you how much this email meant to me at the time and STILL means to me.  I pull it out and read it and it continues to inspire me and keeps me teaching.  THANK YOU, Laura.